I gave up the love of my life, for my love of life, not knowing the two were more intertwined than I believed.

As I walked out this morning to buy cigarettes, I saw this girl sitting on a railing. Her hair was long and straight and she was on the phone and smoking. The awkward curve of her body and the way she ignored the passers by was beautiful. In the ten thirty sunlight, she looked like a dream.

When I walked back, she turned to look up and I saw her heavily made up face as red and ripe as a tomato in the sunlight. My feet became uncomfortable trying to maneuver in too big Birkenstocks and all I wanted to do was go home.

It's pretty funny how I went from marginally new age to complete skeptic in two words.

I can't seem to catch a fucking break.

This would be the perfect time to leave everything behind and go for a long meditation retreat.

I'm sure you'll all be pleased to know my life is a mess right now.

I've been directionless before but this is the first time I feel at the complete mercy of external forces. I've lost my center so instead of sailing with whatever wind takes my fancy, I'm just fucking drowning.

In giving in to my escapist tendencies when I decided to take your hand, I managed to let go of everything else I had been holding on to and have to contend with days of floating, floundering...

It's time for a drastic change, a drastic, drastic, painful transformation.

自强 or 自戕?

SORRY FOR THE BOUT OF PHYSICAL FRAGILITY

Being with me is like playing a neverending game of catch. I remember this happening before and now I'm far too cautious for it to be any sort of excuse.

Oh god, I've turned into a cliché, a parody of myself.

Peringkat homoseksual

Terdapat beberapa peringkat homoseksual:

* TERAHSIA

Juga dikenali sebagai CLOSET. Bermula sebagai ‘Homoseksual Sulit’.Individu homoseksual yang menjalani kehidupannya dengan berpura-pura seperti orang lain, tidak bahagia dan tertekan oleh polisi sosial yang diterima oleh masyarakat. Individu homoseksual ini cuba menyesuaikan diri (accommodate) dengan norma-norma masyarakat dalam masa yang sama melakukan kegiatan homoseksual secara rahsia.

* PENDEDAHAN AWAL

Pernyertaan dan eksperesi diri kepada masyarakat. Individu ini memberi respon terhadap masyarakat heteroseksual dengan menonjolkan kehidupan homoseksual. Menerima hakikat bahawa diri lebih berminat kepada kaum sejenis.

* PERKONGSIAN

1. Tahap Perkongsian Pertama

Kemampuan untuk berkongsi perasaan sebagai homoseksual pada keluarga dan rakan-rakan.Mewujudkan perhubungan yang lebih stabil dan berjangka sederhana atau panjang

2. Tahap Perkongsian Kedua

Menilai secara terperinci akan kebaikan dan keburukan perkongsian secara terbuka. Bersedia untuk menerima sebarang akibat. Apabila diterima, ini akan membina percaya diri dan memberi kesan positif dan sekira sebaliknya. Ia akan memberi kesan yang negatif.

* KOMUNITI HOMOSEKSUAL

Kelompok homoseksual akan berkumpul sesama sendiri dan membentuk sebuah masyarakat yang mahu menerima mereka seadanya. Di sini mereka diterima, diperlakukan seadilnya dan berkongsi bersama-sama pengalaman dan memahami antara satu sama lain


http://ms.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kehomoseksualan



Loosely translated: there are three ranks of homosexual, the 'secret homosexual' also known as CLOSET, the 'sharing homosexual' subdivided into two categories, the first of which shares his homosexual orientation with his friends and family, the second of which is open with his homosexuality to everyone WHICH MAY HAVE CONSEQUENCES NEGATIVE OR POSITIVE, and the third and final rank is the homosexual who is part of the HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNITY.